Family Law

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While the vast majority of adoptions involve adults adopting children, all states have laws that permit “adult adoption,” in which a person 18 or older is adopted by another adult as mutually agreed by the parties. Some states may restrict adult adoptions to cases where the person being adopted is of diminished capacity. If the person being adopted is married, some states require the spouse to consent. Other states simply require the two adults to consent to the adoption.

Why would an adult want to be adopted?

There are typically three reasons why adults choose to adopt another adult. The most common reason is inheritance. Whether it takes place when the adopted party is a child or an adult, the adoption creates a legally recognized parent-child relationship, enabling the adoptive child to inherit property from the adoptive parents in accordance with state law.

Secondly, adult adoptions can be used to formalize a parent-child relationship. For example, there may have previously existed a stepparent-stepchild, or foster parent-foster child relationship, and the adult parties now wish to formally recognize the relationship.

Finally, adult adoption can help ensure perpetual care for a person of diminished capacity. Formally adopting the adult with special needs may enable him or her to qualify for lifetime care under family insurance, and can help ensure assets pass to the adoptive child.

As with any traditional adoption of a minor child, an adult adoption triggers several significant, legal changes. When the adoption is finalized, the parental relationship with the biological parents is severed, and a new parent-child relationship is created. A new birth certificate will be issued, bearing the adoptive parents’ names, and the adoptive child may change his or her last name to that of the adoptive parents.  Call us for your complimentary initial consultation, we here to assist you, Franz Cobos, Esq.

Mediation is one form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that allows parties to seek a remedy for their conflict without a court trial. Parties work with a mediator, who is a neutral third party. Usually, mediators have received some training in negotiation or their professional background provides that practical experience.

Unlike a judge, a mediator does not decide who wins; rather, a mediator facilitates communication between the parties and helps identify issues and solutions. The goal is for parties to reach an acceptable agreement.

Mediation can be an appealing option because it is less adversarial. This might be important when the relationship between the parties has to continue in the future, such as between a divorcing couple with children. The process is also less formal than court proceedings.

Mediation often costs less than litigation, which is another benefit. Another advantage to using mediation is that it generally takes much less time than a traditional lawsuit. Litigation can drag on for years, but mediation can typically be completed within a few months. Court systems are embracing mediation and other forms of ADR in an effort to clear their clogged dockets. There are some programs that are voluntary, but in some jurisdictions, pursuing ADR is a mandatory step before a lawsuit can proceed.

Mediation can be used in a variety of cases, and it is sometimes required by a contract between the parties. Mediators can be found through referrals from courts or bar associations, and there are companies that specifically provide ADR services. Ideally, a mediator will have some training or background in the area of law related to your dispute.

Mediation is often a successful way to reach a settlement. If parties fail to resolve their conflict, information learned during mediation might be protected as confidential under state law.

Contact our law firm today to help determine if mediation would be a valuable tool to resolve your case.  Franz Cobos, Esq.

You may have signed several affidavits over the years, without fully knowing what they are.  You might have signed one to register to vote or obtain some government benefit.  An affidavit can also be used as evidence in a lawsuit.

An affidavit is a written document.  The person signing it (the “affiant”) declares under oath that he or she is making voluntary and truthful statements.  Requirements for an affidavit vary based on the circumstances and jurisdiction.  In most jurisdictions, an affidavit must contain the affiant’s name, physical address and the affiant’s signature.  

The contents need to be voluntary and limited to what the affiant knows to be true because of direct observation or experience.  Before signing an affidavit, be certain of the basis of your knowledge.  Do you know these statements to be true or just think that they’re true?

Most jurisdictions require the affiant swear under oath that the statements are true before signing the document.  That signature needs to be witnessed and certified by a notary public, attorney or other public official authorized to take oaths.  The affiant must understand the content of the affidavit, the importance of an oath and the consequences for violating an oath.  A person who lies on an affidavit may be deemed to have committed perjury and face considerable penalties. Given the significant consequences, anyone who is not mentally competent shouldn’t sign an affidavit or be asked to sign an affidavit.

You may be asked to sign an affidavit if you witnessed an incident that may lead to, or has already resulted in, legal action.  Parties, or their attorneys, may want a formalized, written statement of what you saw.  If you’re in this position, make sure the affidavit is complete and accurate.  Consult your own legal counsel before signing.  The party contacting you may want an affidavit that puts them in the best light, not one that tells the whole story.

Be very careful about what’s stated in the affidavit, as opposing counsel may focus in on the document and investigate every aspect of it during litigation.  In a deposition or during a trial, opposing counsel may press you on the contents of affidavits to impeach your credibility.  

Prenup Considerations

Most people think of marriage as a declaration of love and commitment, not as a legal contract that defines the financial and familial obligations of each party. That is, until they start negotiating a divorce settlement and discover their state’s policy on the division of marital property and spousal support. Although not every couple establishes a prenuptial agreement, there are several good reasons for having a smart prenup in place before saying those magical words, “I do.”

What is a Prenup?
A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that allows the couple to make decisions about their finances and marital property should they eventually decide to part ways. You cannot circumvent the child custody statutes in your state through a prenuptial agreement, although you can decide who gets to keep the family dog. The terms of the prenup must be legal and should be fair to both parties. For instance, an agreement that would leave one spouse homeless with no source of income would not be enforceable.

A prenup is particularly useful when one, or both parties, enter into the marriage with valuable assets or has children from a previous relationship. Older couples are more likely to consider a prenup because they have more assets to lose. Those who are exchanging matrimonial vows for a second or third time recognize that having a customized financial game plan in place can make divorce proceedings less stressful.

A prenup can eliminate later disputes over assets during a divorce and save the couple from acrimonious, time consuming and stressful litigation. 

When Should You Consider a Prenup?
A prenup might be a good idea if you have any of the following concerns:

 

• Providing peace of mind for the partner who has significantly more income or wealth
• Making sure your business remains intact, in your name
• Defining assets such as property, a retirement fund or investments as separate property, not marital property
• Retaining possession of family property, heirlooms or an anticipated inheritance after a divorce
• Looking after the long-term interests of children from a previous marriage
• Worrying that changing your career plan to raise children will leave you at a financial disadvantage
• Avoiding interference with an estate plan
• Financing long-term care for elderly parents or relatives

Starting Your Marriage the Right Way
The divorce laws in most states work on the assumption that both partners in a marriage have agreed to pool their tangible and intangible assets, and the courts generally attempt to make an equitable and fair division of these assets following a divorce.  A prenuptial agreement gives you and your intended spouse the opportunity to consider potential areas of disagreement regarding your financial future and address them in a forthright and realistic manner.  Call us today for a consultation if you need assistance with drafting o reviewing your prenuptial agreement.  Franz Cobos, Esq.

 

Mediation & Alternative Dispute Resolution ("ADR") Options in Divorce

My spouse and I would like to pursue an amicable divorce, and would like to stay out of court if at all possible. Are there alternative methods to divorce resolution?

With the dawning of no-fault divorce in New York and New Jersey, couples looking for a more amicable, less-stressful dissolution experience may be able to achieve such results through the use of alternative dispute resolution. Namely, mediation and collaborative divorce models have proven wildly successful in New York and elsewhere, allowing families the opportunity to transition their family dynamics with dignity and grace, as opposed to name-calling and vitriol.

Collaborative divorce

As the name suggests, a collaborative divorce is one in which all parties agree to forgo litigation (i.e., court intervention) in lieu of working together to arrive at a practicable solution. Issues ranging from spousal support to child visitation are negotiated in a non-adversarial environment, and parties are encouraged to work together – as opposed to in opposition – to arrive at a settlement agreement that meets the needs of the family as a whole. Collaborative divorce relies on the mutual agreement by both spouses to engage in full disclosure during all negotiations, as well as treat all parties involved with respect.

Mediation

As a component of the traditional divorce model, mediation is often used when parties are stuck on a particular issue, and is designed to avoid the costs and time investment of full-blown litigation. In lieu of the formal adversarial process, parties are seated at a table before a neutral third party. This third party will then work with both sides to determine the most important factors at play, as well as offer solutions for both parties to consider. If, at the conclusion of the session, an agreement cannot be reached, parties may seek Court intervention to resolve their conflicts. 

Benefits

The benefits of mediation and ADR approach allows both parties to be cognizant of the main issues in conflict.  The matter, being streamlined and focused, permits a more fruitful Court determination in the event Court intervention is necessary.  We are here to help, call us for assistance.  Franz Cobos, Esq.

Top Ten Child Support Myths

Child support disputes can bring out the worst in many parents, conjuring images of greedy ex-spouses and children who are used as pawns in games of parental posturing and revenge. While there may be a certain degree of truth to some of the stereotypes, there are many myths that are prevalent in the context of children and divorce.

Myth: Child support payments are based on the needs of the children.
Fact: Support payments are based on the parents’ ability to earn income and have no basis in the actual costs to raise a child.

Myth: Child support payments must be spent on the child.
Fact: No state requires child support recipients to account for expenditures or prove they were necessary to meet the child’s needs, or even whether they were spent on the children at all. In fact, many states view the purpose of child support as protecting the standard of living of the custodial parent.

Myth: I can move out of state to dodge my child support obligations.
Fact: Each state has its own child support enforcement agency and these agencies all work together. You cannot escape this obligation.

Myth: I can quit my job in order to avoid making child support payments.
Fact: The courts are permitted to “impute” income to a parent who intentionally quits a job, whether or not that parent is currently earning a paycheck. Obligations will continue to accrue and payments must be made.

Myth: I have lost my job and can’t make my child support payments, so I will be sent to jail.
Fact: You can only be incarcerated if you have the ability to pay but refuse to do so. If you have lost your income and do not have the ability to pay, you will not be criminally liable for non-payment.

Myth: My ex-spouse uses child support payments for shopping, dining and to support a lavish lifestyle; therefore, my support payment should be reduced.
Fact: So long as the custodial parent pays expenses to feed, clothe and house the minor children, which is the ultimate purpose of child support payments, whatever else she spends money on is generally not scrutinized.

Myth: My living expenses are high and I cannot afford the child support payments; therefore, my support payment should be reduced.
Fact: Generally, expenses must be necessary and extreme in order to be considered as a basis for child support calculations.

Myth: Child support payments are deductible on my income taxes.
Fact: Child support payments are not deductible to the paying parent; nor are they considered “income” to the receiving parent.

Myth: If I have children with a new partner, my child support payments will decrease.
Fact: The birth of a new child will not reduce your obligations to make child support payments to a prior spouse. New children may affect the existing child support order if you get another divorce and must pay child support for the second set of children.

Myth: My ex-spouse claims she can modify the child support order and take my house, bank account or other assets.
Fact: A future child support modification can only address the amount of child support payments going forward. Assets cannot be seized and typically are not considered in modifications.

We are here to help.  Call us for a consultation.  Franz Cobos, Esq.

According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, in the past five years 81% of its members have represented clients in cases involving evidence from social networking sites, such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, YouTube and LinkedIn. Posted pictures and comments can make the job all-too-easy for your former spouse’s attorney to attack your credibility and ensure you do not receive the relief that you are requesting from the court.

A picture is worth a thousand words. And that picture you posted of yourself, in various stages of undress, or with a marijuana cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other, speaks volumes to the court and can result in unfavorable rulings regarding child custody or visitation. But the information posted doesn’t even have to be tawdry or illegal to land you in trouble. What about the ex-husband who claims he has no income, but his Facebook profile is chock-full of photos of luxury purchases or exotic vacations? What about the parent who posts profanity-laden status updates, insulting the judge’s competence? Should it find its way into the court, none of this information is going to help your case.

All of these communications can be considered by the court in making its rulings. Nothing you post online is 100% private, regardless of your privacy settings. Opposing attorneys can always subpoena the records, share your dirty secrets with the court, impeach your credibility, and obtain a favorable ruling for their client – your ex-spouse.

The lasting implications of a negative court ruling can far outweigh the momentary, fleeting satisfaction of venting your frustration at the judge or your ex, or sharing “fun” photos on your Facebook profile. The bottom line is that you have to think before you post. It has often been said that you should not publish anything that you wouldn’t want your Mother to see. A similar standard should be applied for those going through a divorce. What if that comment you are about to make, or the photo you are about to post, were to fall into the hands of your ex-spouse’s lawyer? This can have far-reaching consequences, affecting your income and support obligations, or visitation and custody of your children.

To avoid the pitfalls of information sharing in the digital age, you must assume that anything and everything you post will be obtained by opposing counsel and find its way into the courtroom. Family law cases involve some of our most private matters and care should be taken to ensure you protect your own privacy. Preserve your attorney-client privilege by refraining from sharing any details of your relationship or conversations with your attorney. Avoid posting compromising photos, or making derogatory remarks on your social networking profiles.

Above all, do not post anything you wouldn’t want your ex, his or her attorney, or the judge to see. Regardless of how restrictive your privacy settings may be, this information can easily be subpoenaed and become a part of the court record. If there is any doubt, do not post. You cannot “unring that bell!”  If you need a divorce attorney, call us for a consultation today.      
 

Discussing your desire to establish a prenuptial agreement with your future spouse has the potential to be a complete disaster, but approaching the topic with the comfort of your partner in mind can help alleviate much of the stress associated with the process of creating a premarital agreement.

A prenuptial agreement is a legal document drafted and signed before marriage that lays the groundwork for the distribution of assets should the marriage fail. Although these agreements aren't a requirement for engaged couples, many attorneys agree they are an important part of the pre-marriage process, as they provide a binding agreement that each partner must adhere to in the event of a divorce. Many are sensitive to the idea that signing an agreement of this kind means one partner thinks the marriage will fail, but prenuptial contracts are really just meant to serve as a contingency plan.

Below are three ways to make the discussion easier.

Know the basics of a prenuptial agreement.

You likely have an inkling as to how your partner will react to you bringing up the subject of a premarital agreement. Whether you think they will be neutral or get defensive at the very mention of the idea, explain that drafting the agreement as a couple gives you the ability to design it in a way that could financially protect both of you in the event that your marriage fails. Make sure your partner is aware that their feelings during this process are of the utmost importance to you. It's best to seek the guidance of an experienced family law attorney prior to discussing a prenuptial agreement with your future spouse in order to gather all the information you need to have a thorough discussion on the subject. These small preparations can help the conversation flow more smoothly between you and your partner, hopefully resulting in a relaxed and honest discussion about what you both expect from your marriage.

Don't wait until the last minute to tell your fiancé you want a premarital agreement.

Both of you should be involved in the process of drafting the prenuptial agreement. It shouldn't be one of you presenting the other with a contract at the rehearsal dinner right before the wedding. Not only are last-minute agreements on "shaky ground" legally speaking, but you're more likely to upset your partner if you expect them to read and sign this type of contract without any warning. Prenups that are signed shortly before the wedding aren't necessarily lawfully invalid, but they are much more likely to be legally argued than agreements that were signed well before a couple says "I do." In order to avoid inflicting massive pre-wedding jitters on your partner, talk about your desire to have a prenup as soon as possible following your engagement. Working together to draft the agreement provides both of you with a chance to state how you feel "work" will be divided throughout your marriage, which can make you more secure with your decision to marry than before. The prenuptial agreement takes the guesswork out of a divorce, as it determines who owns what property.

Consider working with a mediator to draft your premarital agreement.

Working with a mediator allows you, the couple, to draft a contract that combines both of your best interests. Before meeting with a mediator, couples should come up with some issues they would like to address in their prenuptial agreement. Discussing what key points you want the agreement to include beforehand ensures that you are on the same page as a couple, and it will make the meeting with the mediator more productive. In addition to providing you with unbiased advice, a mediator can offer couples guidance on the legalities involved in such contracts. This method is a smart way to guarantee each spouse equal bargaining power. As a matter of protection and precaution, each spouse may also hire their own individual attorney to review the agreement.

Regardless of how long you have been married, negotiating a settlement is the most important part of the divorce process. Although it is no easy task, working with your spouse to arrive at mutually agreed terms of your marital dissolution is easier on your wallet and your psyche. Whatever conditions caused the breakdown in the marriage are likely still present throughout the divorce negotiation, exacerbated by emotions such as anger and fear as you each transition into the next stage of your lives.

However, staying focused on what’s best for your future will serve you well as you navigate these tumultuous waters. Taking your divorce case to trial and letting the court decide what will become of your property or children is rarely in your best interest. Although you may not get everything you hoped for during a settlement negotiation, you will save a tremendous amount of money, time and emotional anguish.

Divorce settlement negotiations involve a degree of both skill and art, both of which can be attained by following a few simple tips. Even if your attorney is doing the negotiating on your behalf, it is important that you are clear regarding your priorities, so you can make decisions that are truly in your own best interest for the future life you are establishing post-divorce.

Negotiating a settlement agreement necessarily involves a certain amount of give and take, on both sides, so keep in mind that you most likely won’t get everything you want. But following the tips below can help ensure you get what’s most important to you.

• Establish clear priorities.
• Know what you can give up completely, where you can be flexible and those critical items where you are unable to budge.
• Be realistic about your options and the bigger picture, so you can be reasonable when you must “give” something in order to “take” something.
• Stay focused on the negotiation itself, and your future; avoid recalling past resentments or re-opening past wounds. Your divorce settlement negotiation is no place for “revenge” which can ultimately delay your case and cost you thousands in unnecessary legal expenses.
• If your soon-to-be-ex-spouse becomes emotional or subjects you to personal attacks, don’t take it personally. This may be easier said than done, but it is important to stay focused on your priorities and realize that such “noise” does not get you any closer to a settlement agreement.
• If you spouse presents you with a settlement offer, consider it carefully and discuss it with your attorney. It may not include everything you want, but that may be a fair trade off in order to finalize your divorce and move on with your new life.
• If you are negotiating your own settlement agreement, consult with an attorney before you make an offer to your spouse or sign any proposed agreement.

By keeping the focus on your priorities, and avoiding the emotionally-charged aspects of your failed marriage, you can ensure you negotiate a divorce settlement agreement that you can live with.  Call us now for a consultation.